Today, I am really stretching myself.
This is the first time I am writing two posts in one day. It’s crazy for me to think about because several months ago, I was talking to my significant other about how impossible it seemed to write once daily. We were like if we could just write daily, we would make so much progress. For a minute there, it turned into another of those things where I knew how much it could benefit me, but still lacked the decisiveness and mental fortitude to commit.
If you’ve seen the about me section of my blog, you’ll notice that I mention I want to write to make a difference.
Writing has been a long time coming for me. For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed writing, but I’ve always been selfish with it. I knew it was an inseparable part of me, a gift that I had been granted, but I only wanted to use it when it suited me. But, it’s the same as with any other unused gift, if I don’t hone my skill, if I don’t practice, I’m not going to show up as strong. So, I have a little work to do, but I’m confident I’m going to turn the corner.
As you may have seen me mention in previous posts, I made a vision board in 2016 that forced me to focus and catapulted me to the year-long trip of my dreams. Well…that trip wasn’t the only thing on there, writing a book was on my vision board too. More specifically, I said I wanted to write a life-changing book that made a meaningful impact. I almost don’t want to share that part, because, now, at some point, I’m going to have to show up with this unborn “masterpiece.”
Even though I fell off from doing my vision board nearly 10 months ago, I’m definitely picking up the correlation between that and why I’ve felt so strongly about the need to write right now. Those 120 days of nonstop visualizations were embedded in my subconscious and they led me to this point.
During, the four months leading up to when I recommenced writing on Medium, I had really been wrestling with myself over what I should be doing next. Writing kept resurfacing but I didn’t necessarily feel like putting forth the effort.
Last month, I finally surrendered and was like, “Okay, I think this is what I’m supposed to be doing.” I didn’t even connect the dots between that and my vision board until this week, but now that I have, it serves as a reminder to me to keep visualizing. At times, the two things I’m missing are clarity and focus. Those issues were completely eliminated when I doing daily visualizations.
As a little girl, the first dream that I remember having was traveling the world and making a difference in people’s lives.
Of course, I was told that was nice, but it didn’t pay the bills.
Looking back, it’s crazy to me that 9-year-old me wasn’t thinking about money, I was thinking about legacy. I think a lot of kids think about legacy. Kids tend to look at the bigger picture, they tend to think with their heart. I always remember having crazy intuition and insight as a child, but as I grew older some kind of jacked up logic seeped in and suppressed my big ideas.
There’s more to this life than what it appears.
In the midst of all the mechanisms that have been created to keep our focus off of what matters, it’s still possible to let go and think about why we’re really here.
Why am I really here?
I know that the money side needs to be taken care of, but at the root of it, the thing I’m really here for is legacy and impact. I’ll go as far as to say that I believe everyone is here for that, in their own capacity.
In some way, shape or form we can all make a difference.
Before I write, I sometimes find myself listening to the song, “I Was Here” by Beyonce. The lyrics have served as a reminder of the actual focus.
I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, meant something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I’ll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, so they won’t forget
I was here
I lived, I loved
I was here
I did, I’ve done everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here
I wanna say I lived each day, until I die
And know that I meant something in somebody’s life
The hearts I have touched will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference, and this world will see….
And it goes on further, but what I gained from the song is that the most important thing we leave behind is our legacy.
The other day a fellow poster on Medium wrote a story about a low-point in his life when someone told him two simple words that changed the course of his life. “Be useful,” they said to him.
I too would like to be useful.
And that means writing when I feel like it and when I don’t.
It means stretching myself, even when I question my capabilities.
It means being willing to grow and change and be vulnerable.
It means shaping myself into the person I need to become so I can make a difference and leave a legacy to be proud of.