On My Break-Up at 30: All Break-ups Aren’t Bad
I ended my relationship about a month ago.
I wasn’t going to share this but I kind of avoided a comment the other day because it referenced the relationship I am no longer in.
Don’t worry, I’m not upset. I’m in a happy place and I promise I’m not lying. I know people tend to feel badly when someone says something like this.
“It’s going to be okay, there’s a million other fish in the sea.”
The exact thing I used to not want to hear.
“No there’s not…” I would wail yanking a million tissues out the tissue box. I remember the days when I would bawl my eyes out:
“God, when will I ever get over this person?!”
A decision like this would have completely derailed my life back then. The daily writing challenge would have been over and I would have literally just gone ghost.
It was so unhealthy to be like that.
With relationships, when someone’s ready to leave, they leave.
Have you ever had a friend come to you for relationship advice on a black and white situation?
We probably all have.
I once had a friend come to me and ask me what did I think was going on when the person she was in a situationship with would disappear and not reply to her text or phone calls for numerous days. I mean, to me, it was quite clear what was going on and honestly, she already knew the answer to her own question too.
But sometimes we just reach out, grasping for some kind of validation even when there is none to be had.
You can give advice time and time again as to a person deserving better or needing to move on with their life, but they will get it when they get it.
I used to get so irritated by that… like,
“Why??.. Why are you asking my advice if you’re just going to do the same thing anyway?!”
I’m sure I’ve irritated my fair share of people just the same.
Relationships are inevitable. Romantic or otherwise, they can be complex and sometimes we have to get kicked down a few times to really get it.
I think at a younger age, it’s easy to arbitrarily pick any type of relationship. Sometimes we get lucky. Now that I’m older, I realize it’s very important to be intentional.
At 30-years-old, I just want things that are conducive to my well-being and happiness. So yeah, I’m no longer in a relationship but I’m also in a good place.