I used to seek out happiness in relationships.
If things were good, I was on cloud nine. If things were bad, my whole world would come unhinged. I’m talking missing days of work and going into periods of immense sadness over relationships that I ended. And then I would be easily convinced to “try things again” because being with someone was better than being by myself and dealing with my feelings.
But I couldn’t escape forever.
Eventually, I had to look myself in the mirror and ask,
“What are you doing? What the hell are you doing with your life?”
All the compromises I made for a false sense of being whole and happy were not worth it anymore and I had to pop my own delusionary bubble.
Yeah, that hurt for a bit.
But I was okay. It didn’t kill me. It made me stronger and I learned I could be alone and actually be really happy, not fake happy. I just had to create the happiness myself.
So I did.
I put my head down, stayed in my lane and focused on my goals. I gained back my energy and my happiness and satisfaction in life increased a hundred-fold.
And that’s not to say there were never mistakes. The universe always gives a test and there were times that I failed. But with each failure I learned and by now I’ve been kicked in the butt so many times that I think I’m truly in a great place.
My happiness starts from within now and that’s a hard thing to shake.
Thank you for reading!